Sometimes you seem too perfect, always just beyond my grasp.

     I wonder if I’ll ever truly know you, or start to understand what lies hidden in your depths.

Sometimes I feel too weak for you, like I’m unworthy of your strength.

     You built your house on the rock; I’m a tower toppled over by thunder and rain.

Sometimes you shine so brightly I fear you might snuff out the shadows in my heart.

     So I hang halfway between the shadows and you, betting my soul on a coin toss.

Dreading how good you might make me,

     I keep you at arm’s length, seeking shelter below the trash heap.

Yet in my despair I desire you,

     And though I have dug my hole deep, I still look to the sun when it’s cold.

And so I wait for a sign, because signs are all that I know.

     And when the nights grow long and the days lose their light,

          And I have been torn up and scattered,

I seek out your warmth and await the new dawn, that I may be born once again.

This is the experience of someone who finds himself caught between two polarities, and waits for a sign to take a leap of faith. Sometimes we fear change, even when we’re deeply in need of it.

Make time to reflect

  • Are there any areas in your life where you know what you must do, but delay it out of a reluctance to let your old self go?
  • How do you reconcile the conflicts that arise within yourself?
  • Are you truly in need of a sign, or are you resisting the signs that have already been given to you?